I just want to make my parents happy and proud of me.
I vow to do my best to see them smile again.
I vow to graduate and get a good job in the future.
I vow to pay back their kindness towards me.
I vow to do anything for them

Ayah, Ibu.
Thank you.
Thank you for supporting me until now.
Thank you for still believing in me until now.

May Allah bless you always.



"You got me in chains,
you got me in chains for your love

But I wouldn't change, yeah I wouldn't change this love

Try to break the chains,
but the chains only break me."


ChemE ❤

Hey guys!
I am so elated right now, guess what?

Finally I've had found someone......(and she's a girl)
who's studying ChemE at States!


My heart is bursting with happiness right now! Finally!

And another thing is, she was a former sbp student and intec student too.

How did I manage to find such a person?

Well, actually I was google-ing about the adfp program in intec. I wanted to do a research before I went in there and of course I want to be prepared physically and mentally before I choose to study at Intec of course.

a lego version of me (in the future)
At the moment when I was google-ing for adfp engineering, Google popped me it's "sometimes convenient and sometimes not" info to me. At the second page, I found this ask.fm that belongs to a sister who's currently studying in Colorado School of Mines, US. I read most of her answers but there's still many of it which I haven't finish reading yet.

Then, I read her blog. I followed her instagram and maybe I'll also follow her twitter too one day hehehe. She's seriously like an idol for me right now to study hard and pursue my dreams to be a successful Chem Engineer one day.

Oh yeah, I am still confused whether I should just continue with JPA-MARA or Petronas right now because things are really complicated right now. I don't know what to choose and right now, I am hoping that some kind of miracle can happen right now.

I really want the Petronas Scholarship but in the other hand, I wanted to fly too. Haih I don't know what to expect right now. I hate this situation and I hope that I can get out of here as soon as possible (asap) and of course I hope that I'll make a good decision InsyaAllah.

But for now, I am confident enough to take ChemE as my major in the future! Pray for me guys!


Half Awake

I know its wrong,
I know its a sin,
but I don't know how to stop it.

One moment,
I told myself that it's gonna end today/tonight,
I can no more continue doing this,
but at last I failed.

Because of him.

I don't know if it's love or just lust.
Or maybe it's just sympathy.
I don't know anymore.

But, is it really love?
Is this true love?
Is he's the guy that I've been waiting for?

I don't know.

I need to keep finding the answer and
the moment I know about it.

I have to decide what I am going to do next.

Because right now, I am half awake.



Dulu sembang nak jadi the next Asia's Biggest Loser. Now?
Pastu sembang nak jadi the next Ustazah Pilihan. Now?

Sudahlah tu wei, jangan sembang je kencang tapi usaha takdak.
Kau ingat duduk diam mereput kat rumah melahap semua makanan kat rumah tu bagus?
Kau ingat lambat-lambatkan solat tu bagus jugak lah just sebab nak tengok drama korea?


Cepatlah sedar wei.
Bukan semudah itu.

Tak semudah itu.

Maaf kalau terasa tapi tu sebenarnya ditujukan khas untuk diri sendiri hehe.

Kalau terasa sekali, apa salahnya dak? Hahahahaha.

Raison d'etre

Again, I need to make a choice between two scholarships.

Petronas vs JPA-MARA

Yet, I still don't know where my heart choose.
I wanted to fly but right now I need to know my raison d'etre.

So what's my raison d'etre of studying abroad?
What's my raison d'etre of studying in the local universities?

Now I need to think and choose wisely because my decision won't only affect my future. It will also affect someone's life also. So, it's a really hard decision for me right now.

I just hope that I will make the best decision. Pray for me.