how are you my friend?

it's been a long time since I heard your voice,
it's been a long time since I see your face,
it's been a long time since I see you laugh,
it's been a long time since I receive a text from you.

where have you been?

did you ever miss me even once?
did I ever crossed your mind during your leisure time?

where have you been my friend?

do you know that I miss you badly?
do you know that I kept looking at your pictures?
do you know that I kept reading your last letter you wrote for me?
do you know that I kept calling your number but it's unreachable?

where did you go?

I can't move on.

at least tell me if I did any wrong,
at least tell me if you really want to forget about me.

but why my friend?

the memories that we made together,
the sweetest ones,
the saddest ones,
are all of them are some kind of rubbish to you?

I hope you won't forget me my friend,
I hope you will miss me as much as I do,
because I will always remember you,
and I will always miss you.

Forever & always.

nna, 20150508:2200


" If nak sambung study nanti, ikut apa yang awak minat sebab bila kita belajar benda yang kita minat ni kita akan enjoy. Ye memang kita boleh je kadang-kadang tu skor jugak walaupun belajar benda yang kita tak minat cuma tak enjoy je lah. " - my aunt

So hai and assalamualaikum!

I'm so sorry because it was a long time since I updated my blog. I am not that busy.... it's just I am too lazy to online hehe. Most of my time now is spend watching korea dramas, running man and english movies of course. Oh, don't forget the novels too! Hihihi


Alhamdulillah, right now I got two scholarship offer. 

+ wait, just a minute. Did you said TWO?
- umm yeah? yep

I got an offer from Yayasan Tenaga Nasional (YTN) and also JPA-MARA at the same day. I remembered my first reaction when I got a text from YTN - it was Friday and I had just finished wearing my shawl. I was really excited and I jumped! Hahahaha! Another thing is I was screaming happily. I wasn't sure that I would get the scholarship. Then, when we (me and Ibu and siblings) were at Alamanda I received a call from my friend. He told me that I can check at the jpa website whether I got the JPA-MARA scholarship or not and Alhamdulillah I got it too!

Okay enough with the exciting part because the frustrating thing is I am only aware that I got two scholarship offer but still, I don't know what I'll be majoring and what university that I'll study so I waited for about 2 weeks. On 6th May, at 3pm if I'm not mistaken I received an offer letter from YTN. They offered me to continue my studies at US and I'll be majoring in Electrical Power Engineering. But...it's a Preparatory Program Overseas University (PPOU). I was a bit blur at that moment and yet a bit disappointed when I knew that after spending a year of preparation in UNiTEN I'll be taking my degree in Malaysia for 2 years and then after that I'll be able to continue my degree in US for another 2 years too. Still, I need to be like syukur Alhamdulillah lah aku ni dapat offer scholarship berbanding orang lain yang tak dapat tu kan. 

And then I waited for the moment that I can check what JPA-MARA offered me. So at 5:30pm 6/5/2015, I checked the offer letter and tadaaaa they offered me Engineering at US. I have to do a preparation for 24 months at INTEC. The preparation programme is called American Degree Foundation Programme (ADFP) and then I can fly to US hehehe.

#funfact: I have to give a respond to both of the scholarship by next week


I don't know what to choose!!!!

Because both of them (YTN & JPA-MARA) have their own pros and cons. I was really stressed out thinking about it. So I asked for opinions from my family, teachers, seniors and friends. I can't think straight at the moment. But deep in my heart I knew that I wanted to continue my studies in Chemical Engineering since I wanted to be a Chemical Engineer and another fact is that I have so much passion in Chemistry. Then, when I was thinking about accepting JPA-MARA, something crossed my mind. 

It's about work. 

#FACT: If I accept the YTN scholarship, I will have a minimum 7 years of working bond with them which are 1. Okay because after I graduated, I have a job 2. Not okay because I don't really understand what electrical engineers do although the YTN had briefed us about it before the interview session 3. I want to be a Chemical Engineer 4. The starting salary is OMG OMG OMG minimum 4k 5. 7 years is too long baby

Then, when I was thinking about accepting YTN scholarship, I thought about another aspect and it made me want to accept JPA-MARA pulak haih. It was a @#$%^&* because I can't make the right decision :(

So I take a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppp breath and start listing the pros and cons about YTN and JPA-MARA in my mind. Moreover, I also did a research about both of the scholarship, the courses etc. Oh yeah, I din't forgot to perform Solat Sunat Istikharah too :)

" Life is full of choices. To live or die. To breathe or not. So choose wisely."

Haih. Do pray for me. Don't pray an easy life for me but please pray that I'll have the strength to endure it okay? Oh yeah, next time I'll update you about what I choose!

ps: thank you for praying for me & I hope all of you will also succeed in your life okay?